Wounding Words, Healing Words

Wounding Words, Healing Words
Sermon preached by Dr. Bill Levering September 13, 2009
First Reformed Church, Schenectady, NY

James 3:8-10

No one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. ¹⁰From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.

Words by Elaine M. Isaacson

The words for a poem
The words we use every day
Words
We grasp for words
Words caught in our throat
Words uttered that should not
But have been spoken
Words thought of too late
Words
Our lives are made up of words
Words that wound
Words that heal
Words we can never take back
Words we should have said
Never enough words of praise
Often too many words of pain
Of suffering
Words.

Sermon by Bill Levering

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." has always been false bravado, since most people clearly remember insults and teasing from their youth but would be hard pressed to remember skinned knees.

This week tasteless personal insults reached a new low when a Congressman shouted at the President of the United States. Unthinking verbal attack has been around as long as we have had speech, I imagine. It was certainly present in Biblical times. The epistles are full of warnings about slander and gossip. The passage from James asserts that is is almost impossible to control the tongue (without God's help, we assume).

Today I would like to talk about the rotten things we say to each other and what God has to say. After a painstaking review of the discourse of my life and after consulting several experts in playground talk, I have come up five definitive categories of rotten things we say to each other. They are Get Lost, Shut Up, You're Worthless, I Hate You, and Die.

While I know at this moment you are scanning your favorite put-downs to see how they fit, I am going to plunge forward anyway.


1. Get lost!

At some point in our life, somebody didn't want us around. We annoyed them or challenged them or simply were in the wrong place. People said, "Go away." "Beat it." "Take a hike." "Vamoose." "Scram." "Make like a tree and leaf." "Don't go away mad, just go away."

But God says to us: "Come to me, and I will give you rest." Isaiah tells of a God who calls to us and says "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you;"

Even when we feel unworthy of sticking around with the cool people, God welcomes us. Jesus tells of the prodigal son who returns and says to the father, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "But the father said to his servants, 'Bring out the best robe, and put it on him. Put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. Bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat, and celebrate; for this, my son, was dead, and is alive again.

When people tell you to get lost, God calls "Come to me!"


2. Shut up!

My father just hated this phrase. I'm not sure why. He would say, "I'll be quiet, but I won't shut up." We have heard many versions: "Keep your mouth shut. "Pipe down." "Shut your pie hole." " Put a lid on it." "Why don't you just be quiet?" As Archie Bunker on that old sitcom said, "Edith! Stifle yourself!"

This is different from "Get Lost." Sometimes people want to keep you around just to use and abuse. "I am more important than you are," these folks are saying. "And I want to keep you around to remind myself of that." It may be that our ideas confuse others at times. But when societies stifle the press or alternative opinions, you know things are bad.

God's response is again the opposite. When people in economic bondage in Egypt complained bitterly, God said, "I have heard the cry of my people." Later when the land was conquered and the people scattered; when the sat down by the waters of Babylon and wept, God said, " I have heard the cry of the afflicted." When Jesus tried to get people to understand how their concerns were heard by God, he said, "Ask, and it shall be given."

When people tell you to shut up, God says, "I am listening."


3. You're worthless!

Although you may not hear this in so many words, it is the basis for most insults. You're worthless because you are stupid or ugly or too tall or short or bald or fat or thin or messy or too sexy or too hairy or too insensitive or too bald or pimply or simple or complicated or bald or uneducated or too loud or disabled or weak or smelly or black or awkward or weird or pushy or self-centered or needy or mean or a Yankees fan or blond or Jewish or redneck or bald or whatever.

Although in debate class they taught us that attacking the character of the speaker was never the way to argue, ad hominem rhetoric is the dominant form of political discourse today. We disagree with each other like we were in a courtroom or a playground. What happened to the idea that two people of good character can disagree about the means to mutually shared goals?

The first chapter of Genesis makes it clear that we were created in the image of God. We are created holy. In the passage today, James points out how our abusive speech makes no sense: "We curse those who are made in the likeness of God."

The parables of Jesus are full of stories of our value. We are the pearl of great price God makes a great sacrifice for. We are the one sheep the shepherd leaves the others to search for. We are the treasure in a field. We have been created holy! Each of us. It is means and false to suggest otherwise with our insults.

When people tell you you are worthless, remember that God says you are holy.


4. I hate you.

Sometimes people's feelings about us, reported with meanness, can be weapons. " I don't love you anymore." "You disgust me." "You make me sick." Even a six year old screaming at her mother "IhateyouIhateyouIhateyou!" gets some emotional traction. We all want to be loved. When it doesn't happen, it's bad enough, but to have it shoved into our ears is a formidable assault.

The most famous verse in the New Testament talks about the feelings God has for us. "For God so loved the world . . ." And at this point, we also talk about not only how God feels about us, but about how we feel towards each other. The mark of our community is the connection we have with each other: As John says " By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

When someone says, I hate you, know that the truly important force in the universe feels differently.


5. Die

"Die sucker." "I hope you rot in hell." Last month on the Internet, we were treated to a YouTube video featuring Arizona pastor Steve Anderson who was praying for President Obama to rot in hell. When facing criticism about this last week, he stepped up his rhetoric praying that God "strikes Obama with brain cancer so he can die like Ted Kennedy.’

Our words can belittle and diminish each other and this is not God's intent for us or for how we should treat each other. Jesus said, "I have come that you might have life and have it to the full." Jeremiah writes " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This may sound too simplistic, but God does not want us to die. Jesus says, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live."

Our Choice

So. The people will, in various ways, tell us things about who we are and what they wish for us that may not be in our best interests. Here our basic choice: Who are you going to listen to?

After Jesus had spoken some fairly strking things, he asked the disciples if they were still with him. Peter said, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." Our faith may not always be easy or simple, but it is a faith in a God who is rooting for us at every turn. Always remember what God tells us: "Come to me. I am listening to you. You are holy and I love you. I want you with me always."